Infusion 34, 8-30-12

A rough one for Avery. She is starting to know and realize what is going on and is putting the chain of events together. This time when it was time to get her IV she ran away from me and kept pushing me away. It was different than ever before. She was just crying and screaming and I could barely hold her. What a nightmare. It was at this very second I realized it was time..time for a port. Avery has done great without one really up until this last time. I just could not stop crying. I just know/knew it was time. Breaks my heart for this little girl. I know the positives, and negatives for that matter of having a port and I just didn't want Avery to have to go through a surgery. And to have the port as a constant reminder on top of all the other daily reminders is just not what I want for her :(  So at this point it is up to us. What we think is best for her. We are gonna do her infusion this Thursday and see how it goes. We know at some point it will have to happen but not sure if we are quite ready. Other than the beginning tears and my tears all day whenever I would bring it up or think about it, the day went good. Avery wore her matching scrubs like Chelsea and had a ball playing with her new medical kit ALL DAY LONG! If she is not a nurse or doctor..I will be surprised!